We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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