is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
