we have officially lost it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
