Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
