last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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