I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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