tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he puts the penis in happiness.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
