the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
