WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
