hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
