Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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