and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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