absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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