She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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