Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
