HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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