listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
