Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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