She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
