i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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