Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize