I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
