she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
