I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
