There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
