I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
