If i come over, it means nothing
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
