YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
