but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He felt like a one man threesome
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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