k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
