oh fat girl friday strikes again...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
