Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
