So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
