i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
