Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
