So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Actions speak louder than pants.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
