i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
