I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
