Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There's even glitter on my cock...
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