she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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