She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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