don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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