My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
