Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize