Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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