I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
