A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
