Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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