Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
