he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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