Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
