Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
