are you so shy because you have an std?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize