i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
