why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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