i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
