Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
