I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize