My room smells like vodka and shame
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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